Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
did you just send me my own nude
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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