I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
