I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
