Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
