Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i think my tv is drunk
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
