She said her name was "party"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
