Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
