I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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