What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she smelled like a LAN party
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i believe in u and ur pee
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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