i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
