he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I understand Curling. That high.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
