eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
