no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Shame - the story of my life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
