Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
