i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
