U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
