It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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