You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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