i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
