So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
