i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
