I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
