Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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