I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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