The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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