Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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