saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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