There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
