he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
