No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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