I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
