So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
