apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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