I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
