you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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