No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize