First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
