we have pet lesbian snakes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
