I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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