I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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