I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
