I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
