Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do herpes really smell.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
