i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
