lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
