She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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