Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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