Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
