i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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