I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
