Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
