sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's just like the Real World with babies
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
