I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
