He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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